Over the last couple of days, Bro Ocholla has been trending all over: Twitter, Facebook, Whatsapp…name it! If you’re still not in the now about what I’m talking about, find out more here.
Something that has interested me about the whole fiasco is the labelling of Bro Ocholla that has taken place. Reading a number of online posts, I noticed that many were referring to Bro Ocholla as “a sinner,” as “needing to ask God for forgiveness,” etc. It seems that if anyone speaks on sex or sexuality in a raw (read “real”) way, they must be “carnal”, not spiritual/religious/serious with their relationship with God.
I heard that Bro Ocholla explained that the message he sent to the group was intended for his wife. It seems that the only narrative that people expect to hear from Christians on sex is one with a negative connotation: “no sex outside marriage”, “abstain”, “be faithful”, “no ringy, no dingy”, etc. And the truth is, many in the church have propagated this narrative. It appears as though Christians have nothing positive & exciting to say about sex, or if they do, they buffer it with a caution: “Sex is great, but it’s not everything in marriage”, “I’m looking forward to having sex when I get married but…[some may even find it difficult/weird to express this desire without the “but”].”
If there’s anybody who should have great things to say about sex, it should be the Christian. We believe that God created sex (& marriage), and since we’re in relationship with the Creator, our understanding & experience of sex should be seen by others as the best, should be the most attractive, because it’s being engaged in as God designed.
I believe that we need to invite God into this area of our lives & have real & open conversations with Him about it, so as to learn more about his heart & plan on the matter. We need to start being real with ourselves and not treat sex as a creation of the devil. Instead of focusing on talking about sex just as something to keep away from outside of marriage, why not talk about it as something to look forward to? Why not have real conversations with God about our desires, about how to best prepare for it, about the fact that we’re actually looking forward to sex, & engage with Him on how to handle our desires before then? Instead of putting God on one side and sex on the other, let’s interact with God, & each other, on the topic in such a way that shows the world that thinking or talking about sex doesn’t make one a sinner. It shows that you’re real. You’re authentic.
God & sex aren’t mutually exclusive. The more authentic we are with God in our conversations with Him, the more real our relationship with Him becomes, the more real God becomes to us.
My next blog post should be on how to have these God conversations. Subscribe to get notified when in out (most probably in a day or two).